♥ Home Sweet Home ♥

Felt myself being such stupid today.
Didn't received any text from someone and I started be worried about his condition since he has sick for 2 days continuously.
I think a lot and assumed lot of scenarios that he could be hungry while having fever and nothing to grab, or been sleeping whole day and no one noticed about him, maybe he needs someone send him to clinic or fever getting worst.
You can saying me think too much, or over sensitive or paranoid.
Yes, I am. At least I'm showing my caring and effort to someone that I love.
Somehow, my worries getting more and more and I couldn't focus on my open book exam.
I quickly went to grocery shop to get him some stuff which I think is needed.
Done my quick bathed and wanted to head out to his place and suddenly phone ring, I was told he was busy of settled some stuff today and now preparing for dinner.
I couldn't believed myself that I'm actually tearing while I'm reading his messages.
I cried so loud and couldn't believed it.
He went out without my information and at the other side I was being so tension about him like a crazy girl.
You know what, at the moment my thought was telling me that I'm damn stupid!
I'm doing something that someone never noticed about and ppl don't appreciate.
And I'm the one who being so stupid from the beginning until the end of the day.
I being so worries and someone was at outside enjoying his lunch.
I was thought if he is fine then he will look for me bringing me out for something.
All the things that I guessed was totally wrong!
I losing control of crying at the moment, nothing can be as stupid as what I have done today.
Am I doing something wrong again? Enlighten me if yes.
What am I meant to you? You made me feel lost for my idea.
Maybe I'm not that important to you. I'm not your priority. I'm not the most that you love.
Or maybe I'm just your so called human companion in life.
I'm unwell today but I put it the priority for you first.
I never ever feel that I'm so stupid in my life you know?
I have no idea what's the point for me being such stupid?
This is heartbreaking and insecure and I can't stand for it.
Am I not tolerated enough?
Am I not good enough?
Am I not being a good girlfriend enough?
What I want is just to have your respect which I think is not hard.
I'm such an idiot for whatever I did today.